


Contingent

by saralol



Series: Contingent [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Soonyoung's got abandonment issues, spoiler alert: it's hard, yall know how hard it is to write 13 ppl in one fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-27 11:19:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15684384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saralol/pseuds/saralol
Summary: Soonyoung doesn't need people. And people don't need him. Not his neighbors, not his friends, not his parents, not even Jihoon.





	1. Chapter 1

Soonyoung nervously fidgeted as he made his way down the shady streets, path illuminated only by a few flickering streetlamps. He paused to watch the one directly in front of him waver hesitantly before giving out completely. Soonyoung sighed softly, quickly resuming walking along the sidewalk, now enshrouded in the shadows. Even after living in the same broken-down place for most of his life, the anxiety that came with wandering about in the dark had yet to disappear. Soonyoung preferred staying inside his dilapidated apartment over roaming, but he was out of ramen and starving and didn't feel like waiting for morning to arrive. Life was easier when Jihoon was still there to keep him company in the dark.

Dead leaves susurrated under his feet as he made his way past the few people still up and about this late.

"Hey, Soonyoungie-hyung," Seokmin greeted as soon as Soonyoung stepped inside. He moved from behind the counter to quickly embrace the elder before returning back to the register. "Haven't seen you in a while."

"Busy with work," Soonyoung answered, keeping his gaze focused on the ramen options instead of Seokmin's disapproving stare. He was only too aware that Seokmin didn't agree with Soonyoung's current career choice. "Besides, it's only been two days since I last came here for more ramen."

"Work, huh?" Seokmin pursed his lips, seemingly deep in thought. "You know," Seokmin started carefully, and Soonyoung resisted the urge to groan aloud. The younger man had lately taken it upon himself to mother Soonyoung. He appreciated the concern, but it was suffocating. "You could always just move in with me, hyung. You wouldn't need to work anymore."

Soonyoung snorted in amusement. "And leech off of you?"

Seokmin glared at him, unimpressed. "Hyung, have you ate anything other than ramen in the last week? Hell, the last month?"

Soonyoung shook his head, unashamed by his lack of self-care. He was beyond getting embarrassed at this point. "Breakfast, lunch, and dinner," he confirmed. He didn't bother with informing Seokmin that he was planning on killing himself within the year, so wasn't particularly worried about proper nutrition. It was supposed to be a casual and quick suicide aided by his anxiety medication. Soonyoung just wanted to save up enough money to leave for Seungkwan and Seokmin once he was dead. Allow them to go through college without having to worry about work. Allow him to leave a nice little mark on the world so his entire life wouldn't have been a complete waste of time.

"You can't eat just ramen every day." Seokmin sighed exasperatedly. "Every since Jihoonie-hyung left, you've-"

"Seokmin-ah," Soonyoung said warningly. Seokmin huffed and looked down at the cash register before quietly murmuring an apology. Soonyoung had yet to discuss with anyone how Jihoon had left him without telling him goodbye, how Soonyoung nearly killed himself scouring the entire city because he didn't know if Jihoon was dead or alive, how an admittedly stupid, large part of him died when he finally found Jihoon beaming on TV as the latest musical prodigy for one of the biggest entertainment companies in South Korea. The nation's latest sweetheart, Soonyoung thought bitterly. At least Jihoon was happy after leaving Soonyoung behind like the garbage that he was.

Soonyoung made his way up to the counter, arms filled with ramen packets. He deposited the ramen in front of Seokmin and took out his wallet, patiently waiting for Seokmin to scan them.

"This it?" Seokmin asked, disappointment clear in his voice. "Dammit, Soonyoung-hyung." He walked out from behind the counter, browsing the stands and returning seconds later with a pack of protein bars. "At least try to eat these."

"I'm not paying for those," Soonyoung said, glancing at the protein bars.

Seokmin nodded. "They're on me," he said absentmindedly, focusing on scanning Soonyoung's purchases. Soonyoung struggled to keep the childish pout off of his face, more than a little bit annoyed that the younger was taking his brattiness in stride.

The sliding doors opened with a whoosh of cold air, Seokmin and Soonyoung both turning to see who had come in. A buff middle-aged man stalked inside of the convenience store, holding onto a struggling teenager. It was painfully evident from the teen's clothes and dirty, disheveled hair that he was either homeless or well on his way to it.

Soonyoung looked to Seokmin, confusion mirrored in Seokmin's face.

The teen's eyes locked onto Soonyoung's, a plea for help clear in the brown irises. "That-That's my hyung," the kid stammered out, straining against the man's grip. "Let me go." Soonyoung stared behind the kid at the burly man who had one hand on the kid's wrist and one in his hair, pulling roughly.

In what was probably one of the remarkably stupidest moves he's ever made, Soonyoung quickly schooled his face from one of confusion to one of relief and reached for the kid. "Jihoon-ah," he scolded. He ignored how Seokmin's eyebrows sprang to his hairline. "I was looking for you all day, where the hell did you go?"

"This your little brother?" the man questioned. Soonyoung fought the urge to shiver at the man's grisly voice. At Soonyoung's confirming nod, the man roughly pushed the teenager to Soonyoung. Soonyoung just barely caught him, preventing him from slamming into the counter face-first. Soonyoung wrapped an arm around "Jihoon's" waist, pulling him into a loose hug. He could feel the boy trembling through his stained white shirt. Soonyoung briefly wondered if he should be concerned about how clammy and sickly the boy looked and felt. "Jihoon" tightly held onto Soonyoung's jacket, balling it up stiffly in his fists. "Little fucker tried to rob me," the man tattled.

Soonyoung quickly bowed deeply in apology. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "It won't happen again."

The man hummed. "You're lucky he tried to pickpocket from me. Anyone else and he could've been killed or worse." Soonyoung didn't question it. He'd lived in the more lawless parts of town for enough time to recognize that there were worse things than death. Mess with the wrong person, and you would find out what they are easy.

Soonyoung nodded and turned to the kid who was currently clinging to Soonyoung's jacket like a lifeline. "Aren't you going to say sorry to the nice man, Jihoonie?"

The kid looked up in surprise before softly mumbling an apology.

The man harrumphed and left, only after taking a couple thousand won from Soonyoung to cover the "damages".

As soon as the man was gone, Soonyoung set the teen with an unimpressed glare. "Why the hell did you think it was a good idea pickpocketing that giant?"

The boy flushed and looked to the ground. "I thought he was drunk," he justified. "And I was hungry."

Soonyoung's glare softened. He slid off of his chair, gently tugging the boy along to the stacked ramen. "Choose one," he commanded. "I'll pay."

"I can't just-"

"You can steal, but you can't accept me being generous?" Soonyoung cut off his protests. He pushed the boy closer to the ramen, silently urging him to choose one. "It's just ramen, it's not even expensive." Soonyoung pretended not to notice the boy examining the prices of each packet before carefully selecting the cheapest option. He took it from him with a tiny smile, taking it up to Seokmin and pulling out his wallet. "Can you make this here?" Soonyoung asked.

"Of course," Seokmin confirmed, an unnecessarily large grin on his face. "What's your name?" Seokmin asked as they waited for the ramen to cook.

Soonyoung watched as the boy's eyes flickered around the convenience store before landing on a box of small plastic dinosaur figurines behind Seokmin. "Dino," he answered quietly. Soonyoung shrugged internally, figuring that it wasn't a big deal. If he wanted to be addressed as Dino, he would be called Dino.

Seokmin smiled at Dino not unkindly. "I'm Seokmin, and that's Soonyoung."

Dino nodded, absentmindedly playing with Soonyoung's jacket sleeve once again. Soonyoung wondered if he was doing it on purpose to mess with him, or he really was that comfortable around Soonyoung within the couple of minutes that he'd met him. Seokmin caught Soonyoung's eye and smiled encouragingly. Soonyoung blinked. "Dino-ah," Seokmin started. "Do you have a place to stay?" Soonyoung glared at the taller, wishing he could reach over and whack him. It was clear where Seokmin was going with this, and Soonyoung was not on board.

Dino shook his head without looking up, and Seokmin raised a meaningful brow at Soonyoung who adamantly stared at the counter instead of the kicked-puppy face Dino was adorning. A tear fell to the counter, and Dino cursed under his breath, trying to hurriedly wipe it away with his palm before Soonyoung and Seokmin could see, but Soonyoung saw and felt like a shitty human for not attempting to comfort the younger. Dino looked toward the microwave instead, cheeks turning a bright scarlet. Soonyoung held steadfast, coughing into his palm instead to mask his discomfort.

The bowl of water spun in a perfect circle in the microwave.

"Where's the bathroom?" Dino asked in a choked voice. Soonyoung just knew Dino was going to cry in a disgusting convenience store bathroom for being all alone at the ripe, old age of about seventeen. And Soonyoung was going to let him, as assholish as that sounded.

Seokmin silently pointed it out to him, just barely managing to wait for Dino to disappear into the bathroom before beginning to wheedle Soonyoung. "Let him stay with you," Seokmin demanded.  
  
"No, no, no," Soonyoung refused. In retrospect, he could have said no once instead of three times. "Absolutely not."

"Why not?" Seokmin groaned. Soonyoung glared at the counter, refusing to voice his concerns. He didn't want Jihoon 2.0. He didn't want to get stupidly attached to people again, only to be abandoned a short while later.

Seokmin leaned over and held Soonyoung's hands in his own, holding them up to study the calloused palms in the light. "Jihoon-" he paused at Soonyoung's annoyed huff, looking up to meet Soonyoung's eyes. Soonyoung wasn't going to lie; he felt just the slightest bit intimidated by the seriousness he found in Seokmin's normally playful eyes. "You need to hear this hyung," Seokmin said, voice gentle but firm, leaving no room for argument. Soonyoung looked away, ears burning with humiliation. It was embarrassing being scolded by someone who he was supposed to take care of. "You haven't been taking care of yourself ever since Jihoon-hyung left," Seokmin said in one breath. "It's almost like you're suicidal now."

Soonyoung flinched at Seokmin's statement. Yeah, Soonyoung did have his own suicide planned for about a month from now, but hearing the hopeless desperation in his friend's voice was jarring. The implications of what he had planned for himself hit him. "I'm not going to kill myself, Seokminnie," Soonyoung whispered, meaning it. "Promise."

"Just listen," Seokmin insisted, tugging at Soonyoung's hands. "I'm not- I don't have enough time to drop in and check in on you when I'm worried about you, and Lord knows the others don't have time either. We're all worried about you, especially with your current job. We've been meaning to ask you to move in with one of us for a while now."

"Nothing's wrong with my occupation," Soonyoung defended. "It puts food on the table."

Seokmin let out a bitter, unamused snort. "You don't need to whore yourself out to put ramen on the table. Regularly eating ramen's as cheap and unhealthy as you can get." He paused. "Besides, Cheol-hyung's told us about you calling him at midnight to pick you up because you can't-"

"That traitor," Soonyoung muttered, cutting Seokmin off. He'd called Seungcheol specifically because he trusted Sungcheol not to snitch like a kindergartener.

Seokmin cleared his throat before continuing. "This isn't healthy. So either you move in with one of us, or you let that kid stay with you."

"How long have you guys been planning this?" Soonyoung asked incredulously. "Dino in on this too?"

"Since you called Seungcheol-hyung crying," Seokmin replied. "And, no, this is the first time I've seen Dino."

Soonyoung crossed his arms brattily. "And if I just say no to both?"

Seokmin's expression morphed into one of pain. "We've agreed to cut you off," he said softly, just loud enough for Soonyoung to barely make out. He avoided Soonyoung's betrayed eyes. "Hyung, I cried when I heard about what happened to you," Seokmin pleaded. "But you don't seem to care at all. You just mope around because Jihoon-hyung left."

Soonyoung pouted crossly. "Fine, you guys want someone to babysit me? I'd rather let Dino stay with me than any of you."

Seokmin looked hurt but nodded, letting out a breath of relief. "Hyung, we just want what's best for you," he said softly. "I hope you understand that."

"What's best for me is not being smothered all the fucking time," Soonyoung replied, voice rising in volume as he spoke. He hated himself. He was above yelling to convey a point. He was above pulling the 'hyung' card to prove a point, at least that was what he thought. "I'm older than you, I hope you understand that, Seokmin- _ah_."

The two instantaneously fell silent as Dino stumbled out of the bathroom. He’d clearly tried his best to look like he wasn’t crying but the red-rimmed eyes gave it away. Soonyoung could relate. He’d gotten depressingly skilled at hiding the fact that he’d been crying. Every home remedy and life hack he’d already tried and memorized by heart. Soonyoung despised that he had a favorite method.

“You okay, bud?” Seokmin asked.

Dino swallowed thickly. “Yeah,” he rasped, voice hoarse from crying.

Seokmin gestured to the bowl of ramen. “Your ramen’s ready,” he said, waving Dino over.

“Thank you,” Dino mumbled, picking up the pair of plastic chopsticks Seokmin had left by the bowl. Soonyoung quietly watched him eat, taking his time to observe the boy. He was short. Jihoon was also short. Dino was cute and baby-faced. As was Jihoon. Soonyoung found himself wondering if he'd made a mistake by agreeing to Seokmin.

“Dino,” Seokmin called with an overly bright smile on his face. “You said you don’t have a place to stay at, right?” Dino nodded hesitantly, and Seokmin’s smile grew obnoxiously wide. “Well, it just so happens that Soonyoung-hyung here has a bit of extra space in his apartment if you wanted to stay with him?”

Dino turned to Soonyoung, already-large eyes growing wider. “Really?”

Soonyoung nodded morosely. “I-Yeah, my roommate left recently.” He paused to let out a weary sigh. “You can stay with me for a while, I guess.”

Dino smiled softly. “Thanks, hyung.”

“One condition, though,” Seokmin interrupted. “It’s nothing bad,” he giggled when Dino froze. “Just make sure he takes care of himself, kay? If you see him eat ramen for more than one meal a day, make him eat a vegetable. Spinach or something, I don't know.”

That was how Soonyoung ended up taking some kid he'd known for all of about twenty minutes home as his new roommate. He gave Dino the only bed in his shabby one-bedroom apartment and took the couch, despite Dino's protests, because he had manners, for fuck's sake. Dino didn't talk much, Soonyoung observed as he tried to sleep with his neck cramped in an odd position, courtesy of his beat-up couch. Jihoon didn't talk too much either. Instead of sleep, his mind had decided to bless him with continued comparisons between Dino and Jihoon. He rolled over to stare at his stained ceiling and wondered once again if he'd blundered once more.


	2. Chapter 2

"Time to go to work," Soonyoung mumbled aloud. He didn't know who he was talking to, Dino was still fast asleep in Soonyoung's bed, he'd checked.

Soonyoung was, surprisingly enough, flourishing in his work. Minghao had once told him that he couldn't imagine Soonyoung as sexy because of how cute he was. Soonyoung'd quickly discovered that his childlike features, something that he'd loathed for forever, made him disturbingly popular with the paying customers. Lithe, slender body combined with baby fat that refused to dissolve apparently made him an instant turn on. Soonyoung didn't want to think about what that implied.

Today's customer was no exception.

He'd received strict instructions to not speak a single word the whole time. Soonyoung was to be a doll. A fucktoy.

The man dragged him into the room as soon as he'd knocked on the door of the dubious motel room. He was clearly rich, adorned in an expensive suit and giant, diamond-encrusted watch encircling his wrist. Soonyoung'd been dealing with this type of men for long enough to distinguish between the cheap diamonds and the expensive diamonds, the ones that cost tens of thousands of dollars.

"Did anyone see you come here?" The man asked as soon as Soonyoung was inside. Soonyoung shook his head wordlessly. "Good," the man approved, pushing him roughly to the bed. Soonyoung's head bounced off of the headboard. He winced, massaging the back of his head. "Remember that if you breathe a word of this to anyone, you're fucking dead."

Soonyoung didn't doubt it.

"You're not to make any noise or speak at all, got it, doll?"

Soonyoung nodded, and let the life leave his eyes as the man pushed him face-down into the pillow until he was struggling to inhale.

Two hours later, and Soonyoung was a couple hundred thousand won richer and in a lot more pain. He stayed still for what felt like an hour, doing nothing but massaging away the pain in his wrists and legs. The man had taken his leave, leaving Soonyoung behind to clean up the mess and return the key. He'd been informed that the room was paid for the night so he could stay and sleep if he so wished.

"Fuck," Soonyoung muttered as he dragged himself up from the hard bed and made his way to the bathroom. His stomach twisted painfully when he caught sight of himself in the mirror, and he rushed to the toilet, waiting for something, anything to come up his esophagus. Nothing came up, not even bile.

Once reassured that he wouldn't throw up, Soonyoung stood and warily studied the mirror, a quivering hand rising to touch his reflection.

This was not him.

This couldn't be him.

This had to be some kind of cruel joke. Kwon Soonyoung, the prodigious dancer and choreographer, could not have been reduced to this loser.

A red bite mark stamped the base of his neck despite his no marks rule. His ribs and hip bones jutted out in the pale lighting. That was new. Soonyoung ran a hand over the bones, grimacing when his fingers easily sank into each indent. His cheeks had turned slender, making his eyes appear more enormous than they actually were. Soonyoung wrinkled his nose in disgust. He looked less like a human and more like a dejected doll.

He grabbed the roll of toilet paper and returned, doing his best to dab away the vomit staining the cheap carpet. Soonyoung knew the workers here were probably working for just above minimum wage, and he didn't want to force them to clean up after a sex meetup and his vomit. He couldn't really do anything about the bits that had tarnished the bed sheets, but he supposed worse substances were dirtying the yellowed bed sheets than his bile.

That done, he returned to the bathroom, making a beeline straight for the shower. The water was fucking hard and freezing, making his already aching joints and limbs even sorer. Soonyoung's knees buckled, unable to keep him standing up. His knees hit the floor for the nth time that night, and he hissed, pain shooting up his legs. He managed to get back to his feet and quickly but carefully shower, not wanting to stay under the cold spray for longer than he had to. He got out and swiftly toweled himself dry and put his clothes back on, more comfortable in his dirty clothing than nothing. Soonyoung passed out immediately after setting the alarm for 6:30.

He groaned when the alarm rang irritatingly, slapping at his phone to get it to shut the hell up. The annoying blaring was starting to make his head pound.

He checked his phone for missed texts, squinting at the bright screen, the cracked glass making it even harder to read.

Soul bro<333 [1:32 a.m.]  
Where tf r uuuu  
DIno says u werent here the whole day  
i wanted to hang outt after work  
Btw dinos adorable u should thank me

Soonyoung groaned. Seokmin. He wondered if he was still at Soonyoung's apartment. If Soonyoung were to show up like this, looking like a damn mess, he knew it would start up another fight.

Soonyoung bit his already swollen lip. Who'd help him out?

Soonyoungie <33333 [6:34 a.m.]  
i was chilling wwih  
wonu

After sending Wonwoo a quick text begging him to cover for Soonyoung, he got out of bed and rushed to the bathroom, scrubbing at his face and patting his cheeks to get color back into them. There wasn't much to do about the bite mark on his neck or where the ropes had been a little too tight around his wrist but.

His phone rang just as he was pulling his socks on, Soonyoung almost tripping over his own feet to get to it.

"Hello?" he said, doing his best to sound put together.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Soonyoung winced. Wonwoo sounded pissed. With good reason, he reminded himself.

"I had a job," he carefully explained. "And Seokminnie means well, but he gets upset about my work, so," he trailed off, trying to figure out a way to further his argument and get Wonwoo to agree. "Please?" he ended lamely.

Wonwoo remained quiet for a moment as he thought it over. "I'm not lying for you," he finally said. Soonyoung felt his heart plummet. "So you'd better haul ass over here and actually hang out. Asshole." Wonwoo added the last part almost as an afterthought.

Soonyoung grinned. "Wonwoo!"

He could practically visualize Wonwoo rolling his eyes. "You realize this is the first time you've texted or called me since," he paused, presumably to check his phone receipts. "Last month. Asshole."

Soonyoung grimaced, guilt clawing at him. "I'm a shitty friend," he concurred.

After hanging up, Soonyoung made himself look presentable- well, more presentable- then returned the room key. The front desk lady pursed her lips when she took the key from him as if she knew exactly what had happened in that room. To be fair, she probably did. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out what was going on when a wealthy businessman rented a cheap motel room for a night then left after a few hours. Not to mention, the rope burns around his wrist and the bite mark kind of gave it away.

He deliberated for a few moments between checking on Dino or going straight to meet Wonwoo. Checking on someone he barely knew and had been coerced into taking home or hanging out with his best friend of more than a decade? Soonyoung found himself inexplicably drawn to the latter option.

He took the public bus to Wonwoo's apartment. It was a modern, upscale apartment, situated right next to the large university. He found his way to Wonwoo easily, having navigated the place more times than he could count in the past.

Wonwoo opened the door just as he raised his hand to knock.

Soonyoung flushed when Wonwoo slowly looked him up and down, quirking a brow. Soonyoung knew he looked like a damn mess, Wonwoo didn't have to be all extra. His expression darkened as soon as his gaze landed on the bite mark on the junction between Soonyoung's collarbone and neck, reaching out to lightly graze his fingers over the bite.

"Rough night with a vampire?" he asked wryly.

A woman walked past, looking unduly scandalized by the bite mark and rope burns. Soonyoung pulled his shirt sleeves down as surreptitiously as he could. "Wonu," Soonyoung pleaded, making his eyes as large and puppy-like as he could, knowing Wonwoo (probably) wouldn't resist him.

Wonwoo let out an ever-suffering sigh and tugged him inside of the apartment. Instead of dragging him straight to the shower, Wonwoo surprised him by wrapping his arms tightly around Soonyoung's shoulder. "What the hell are you doing, Soonie?"

"I don't know," Soonyoung answered truthfully, hugging Wonwoo back. He inhaled the familiar scent of Wonwoo's cologne then squeezed even harder as an apology. It'd been a while since he'd last visited Wonwoo, or texted, or talked to, or... So, yeah, he definitely deserved the title of world's shittiest best friend. "I missed you," he mumbled. "And, I'm sorry."

"Asshole."

Soonyoung grinned, happy now that he knew he was forgiven. "We're hanging out today?" he asked in a hopeful voice.

"We're hanging out today," Wonwoo confirmed. He extracted himself out of Soonyoung's arms. "I've got a test from nine to ten-thirty, so right after that? You can stay in my room until I'm done."

"Okay," Soonyoung agreed. He paused, lowering his voice to below a whisper. "Is your roommate home?" Jinwoo was an asshole, in all senses of the word. Handsome, but unfortunately slight in stature, Jinwoo had taken it upon himself to make up for his lack of height by being a douchebag to everyone he's met. Both Soonyoung and Wonwoo hated him with all that they had, having been harassed, borderline bullied, by the midget.

Wonwoo shook his head. His glasses slid down the bridge of his nose, forcing him to push them back up. "He left last night to 'get turnt'. Still hasn't come back."

Soonyoung snickered at Wonwoo's look of aversion. "You should go 'get turnt' with him," he innocently suggested.

Wonwoo rolled his eyes, pulling Soonyoung to his bedroom. "Get in," he commanded, holding up one corner of the blanket. As soon as Soonyoung was nestled under the blanket, Wonwoo tucked the blanket in under his chin. A warm feeling settled in the pit of his tummy. "You look like shit, so sleep."

"Asshole," Soonyoung mumbled, rolling over to do just that. Wonwoo tousled Soonyoung's hair fondly before taking his leave, pausing only to grab his backpack and keys.

  
"Get up, dude," Wonwoo said, shaking Soonyoung's shoulder to rouse him. He swiftly dodged Soonyoung's hands swatting at him before slapping lightly at his face. "Let's go get breakfast."

Soonyoung groaned pathetically, finally sitting up in the bed. He leaned forward, nose smushed against Wonwoo's collarbones and arms clamping onto Wonwoo. It was clear what he wanted. Wonwoo huffed before looping his arms under Soonyoung's thighs and lifting. He scowled; Soonyoung was much lighter than Wonwoo remembered and preferred. Wonwoo carried the still half-asleep Soonyoung to the bathroom and deposited him on the sink.

"Brush your teeth," Wonwoo ordered, handing him a packaged toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste. He left and returned after a moment with a giant hoodie. "To cover the bite mark," Wonwoo explained. "Holy shit," he exclaimed, eyes locked onto Soonyoung's wrists, the rope burns visible now that he'd rolled up his sleeves. "Did that fucker tie you up?"

"Yeah," Soonyoung absentmindedly affirmed, more focused on brushing his teeth than Wonwoo's concerns. He spat out the toothpaste, glancing at Wonwoo in the mirror. Wonwoo seemed rather angry, eyes narrowed into little slits behind his horn-rimmed glasses. "Paid me an extra hundred thousand won to cover the marks." The customer had not.

Wonwoo gingerly held one of Soonyoung's wrists up to the light to examine the bruising. "This isn't worth a hundred thousand won," he said emphatically. "You gotta stop this."

Soonyoung hummed noncommittally as he rinsed the toothpaste out of his mouth. He pulled Wonwoo's hoodie on, taking a moment to breathe in Wonwoo's familiar scent. It smelled like home and childhood.

"Hey," Soonyoung said slowly. "Remember when we were kids?"

"What about when we were kids?"

Soonyoung felt his lips pull into a grin. "Zoom zoom."

Wonwoo carefully backed away as Soonyoung crept forward. "I am not zoom zooming," he refused. "I am an entire grown man." He yelped when Soonyoung leaped onto him, instinctually catching him.

"Zoom zoom," Soonyoung insisted. Wonwoo attempted to peel him off, groaning when he failed miserably. "Come on, you're already halfway there."

"I- We zoom zoom to my apartment door, and then you get off," Wonwoo bartered. "And you never speak of this again."

"Deal," Soonyoung agreed excitedly. "Come on, zoom zoom," he ordered, tugging at Wonwoo's hair to get him to move.

"Stop that, you're gonna mess up my hair," Wonwoo whined. Sooonyoung ruffled the back of his hair until he was satisfied. "Zoom zoom," Wonwoo whispered, walking with Soonyoung in his arms.

"You have to run and shout zoom zoom," Soonyoung asserted, giggling in glee when Wonwoo forced himself into a flustered speed-walk. Soonyoung stopped laughing when Wonwoo froze in the living room. "Wonu?" he asked uncertainly, hating how frigid the atmosphere suddenly was.

"What? Finally get laid, _Wonu_?"

The voice was cocky and mocking. Soonyoung groaned internally as Wonwoo delicately set him back down on the ground. Why did Jinwoo have to return? Soonyoung's only consolation was that he could probably beat Jinwoo up if he needed to.

"No, I did not, Jinwoo-ssi," Wonwoo said rigidly. "Thank you for your concern."

Soonyoung faced Jinwoo, a grimace on Soonyoung's face. Jinwoo smelled repugnant, a crass medley of perspiration, cheap beer, and sex. The man did not appear much better. He seemed to be nursing a hangover over a bowl of cold cereal on the couch, hickeys covering his neck and trailing down into his deep v-neck shirt. Soonyoung briefly wondered if Jinwoo'd lost the stupid sunglasses he'd been wearing everywhere the last time he'd seen him.

"Oh, it's you," Jinwoo said in a startled voice. Soonyoung awkwardly fidgeted as Jinwoo looked him up and down, ending in a patronizing smirk. Soonyoung just barely managed to keep himself from bolting to behind Wonwoo. "The whore. I thought you'd finally died."

"What did you just fucking say?" Wonwoo growled. Soonyoung quickly latched onto Wonwoo's wrist in case he decided to backhand Jinwoo in his stupid face. Not that Soonyoung thought the asshole didn't deserve it, there was just no way Jinwoo wouldn't call the police and try to get Wonwoo locked up for as long as possible.

"I guess you did get laid, Wonu." Jinwoo's smirk grew. Wider and eviler. "Did you pay him a couple thousand won to get it in? Or he let you have it for free this time?" Jinwoo lazily slurped up some cereal. "Careful, though. You don't wanna catch a STD from that nasty slut."

Soonyoung had to use all of the strength in his body to drag Wonwoo out of his apartment and away from Jinwoo.

Wonwoo cursed colorfully, hands clenching fiercely into fists. "I'm gonna kill him." Soonyoung continued pulling Wonwoo in the direction of what he hoped was Wonwoo's car, just in case Wonwoo was still volatile.

"Let's not do that," Soonyoung suggested. He sighed. This whole fiasco could have been avoided if he'd just stayed away from Wonwoo. Getting close to people was always a dangerously terrible idea. "'M sorry."

"Why the fuck are _you_ apologizing?" Wonwoo gritted out, voice feral. Soonyoung flinched, letting go of the other's hand. Wonwoo was pissed, furious at anyone and everyone. Soonyoung wondered if Wonwoo was mad enough to hit him. "Stop letting everyone walk over you." Soonyoung stared silently at the floor, waiting for Wonwoo to relax. "Dammit, just shut the fuck up."

They reached Wonwoo's car in silence, Soonyoung playing with the hoodie sleeves to keep himself from thinking. When that didn't work, he let his hands clench into fists, the nails biting into his palm, physical pain a better distraction. Wonwoo started the ignition then turned to glance at Soonyoung out of his peripheral vision. "Where do you want to eat?" Wonwoo asked quietly.

Soonyoung twiddled his thumbs, staring at his roughened fingers rather than Wonwoo. "Actually," he bit his lip. "Can you just take me home? I'm not hungry."

Wonwoo stared straight ahead. "Then where do you want to hang out?"

"I'm tired," Soonyoung whispered.

Wonwoo drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, seemingly deep in thought. "I'm sorry for yelling at you," he finally said.

Soonyoung shook his head. "You shouldn't be seen with me. Jinwoo's not the only one that'll talk." Soonyoung knew it was hard for Wonwoo. He knew Wonwoo was proud of Soonyoung's work as an up-and-coming choreographer. Wonwoo hadn't ever quite grasped why Soonyoung would throw all of that away for something like _this_. Soonyoung hadn't ever quite been able to explain that the physical pain worked as an excellent distraction from the ache in his heart.

"So?" Wonwoo shrugged. Soonyoung pretended not to notice Wonwoo's fingers gripping the steering wheel, knuckles whitening. "Let them talk."

"Please," Soonyoung begged. "I just want to go home."

Wonwoo exhaled, letting the tension leave his shoulders. "Okay," he agreed. "But we hang out tomorrow."

Soonyoung swallowed. "Yeah."

The ride back to Soonyoung's apartment was quiet, the silence deafeningly so. Wonwoo'd turned the radio on then turned it off almost a few seconds later, groaning in frustration. At some point, it had started raining, the rain falling in soft, rhythmic sheets. Soonyoung stared out the window.

"Thanks," Soonyoung said as soon as he caught sight of his apartment complex. "Do you want your hoodie back?"

"Give it to me tomorrow," Wonwoo replied. They rolled to a stop directly in front of Soonyoung's apartment. "And Soonyoungie?" Soonyoung halted, one foot out of the car, and glanced at him questioningly. "I love you."

_"Soonyoungie?" The six-year-old looked up from his sheet of paper at the sound of his mother calling his name. He was briefly startled to see a genuine smile on his mother's face. Lately, all she and his father had been doing was arguing, and Soonyoung had managed to pick up from the shouting matches that they both genuinely believed he was the cause of their unhappiness. Both had seemed to unwind from the stress of marriage and raising a family. Maybe this vacation in this weird place where few spoke Korean was for the best. "I love you."_

_Soonyoung grinned cheerfully. "I love you too, Mommy," he said back, surreptitiously glancing at his father out of the corner of his eye. His father remained as stony-faced and cold-eyed as usual, staring back at him with a disapproving gaze. Soonyoung quickly returned his attention back to his coloring book, dropping the yellow crayon and picking up the dark blue one instead. "I love you, Daddy," he said softly, just for the hell of it. Maybe his father was content enough to say it back this time._

_The man hummed, picking up his cup of coffee and sipping noisily instead of replying. Soonyoung bit his bottom lip and focused on coloring in the background dark blue._

_"We're going to pay the bill, okay?" Soonyoung's mother said, getting to her feet and motioning for her husband to follow her._

_"Okay," Soonyoung agreed, swinging his feet lightly under the cafe table. He uncomfortably realized half an hour later that they still hadn't returned. But his mother had told him to stay put so he should stay put, right?_

_Half an hour morphed into an hour, Soonyoung focusing on coloring. He held the page up to the light and studied it, wishing he could show his parents his work._

_One of the waitresses approached his table and took a seat, sliding over a brownie on a plate. "Whoa, this is amazing," she exclaimed in Korean. "Did you draw this yourself?"_

_Soonyoung nodded, elated to find someone else who spoke Korean, albeit a bit choppily. He took a huge bite out of the brownie, grin growing wider. "I made it for my dad," he announced, gesturing to the drawing where he, his mother, and his father stood, his parents holding hands and smiling._

_The waitress ruffled his hair. "I'm sure he'll love it," she reassured. "But, sweetie, where is your dad? You've been sitting here by yourself for a while."_

_"My mom and dad went to pay the bill," Soonyoung said, taking another bite of the brownie. "They haven't came back yet."  
_

_The waitress nodded slowly then gestured for what Soonyoung assumed was the manager to come over, whispering something to him in hushed, hurried Japanese. That done, she smiled at him and took him to the 'super-secret hangout room' where they colored another picture together._

_There was a knock on the door to the 'super-secret hangout room' , the waitress standing to get the door. A police officer glared down at Soonyoung, making him feel smaller than he actually was._

_"The nice officer is going to help you find your parents, okay?" the waitress explained. Soonyoung shakily stood, grabbing his paper, box of crayons, and star plushie adorned with a smiley face (his parents had actually let him choose something for once and bought it for him), and followed the police officer. If it were for any other reason, he might have enjoyed riding in the police car and going to the police station. Right now, he was just terrified, hugging the star plushie to his chest._

_He wasn't sure what to think when he found out that his parents had boarded a plane to the Caribbean Islands minutes after abandoning their son in Japan._

Soonyoung shot Wonwoo a tight smile and rushed out of the car, pulling the hood up to defend his hair from the softly drizzling rain. No matter how many times Wonwoo told him that he loved him, Soonyoung couldn't entirely force himself to believe Wonwoo. After all, everyone left him at some point. It was just a matter of when.

Speaking of which, Dino must have abandoned him already along with Soonyoung's cash stash.

Soonyoung pressed the key into the lock and turned, wondering why the hell his heart was racing, hard enough to hurt. It wasn't like he was genuinely anxious whether or not Dino had left or chosen to stay with him. Definitely not that. He just wanted to make sure Dino hadn't taken all his money with him. Yeah, that was it.

Soonyoung was just the slightest bit confused when he'd actually managed to open the door to his apartment. This was not his apartment. There was no way it was his apartment. It smelled fresh and had apparently been cleaned. The door didn't creak when the hinges moved. He took a step back to check the number engraved on the door, making sure that it was indeed his apartment.

Dino emerged after a moment, the shakiest of smiles on his face. He dried his hands on the edge of his t-shirt, wringing the material nervously even after his hands were dry. Soonyoung recognized the clothes as his own, dwarfing the younger. It was cute. "I cleaned a little," he murmured apprehensively. "I hope you don't mind, hyung."

Soonyoung shut the door, noticing how Dino flinched when he did so. It was a bit odd. "You didn't have to," he quickly said to assuage whatever fears Dino seemed to be harboring. He pulled his sneakers off with one hand, leaving them by the front door next to Dino's shoes. It seemed appropriate again to take his shoes off before walking into the freshly-cleaned apartment. "Thanks, though; this place was starting to reek." Dino trailed after him into the living room area where Soonyoung sat tiredly on the couch.

Dino breathed in relief. "You're not mad?"

Soonyoung paused, glancing around his apartment. Maybe Dino had found his stash of cash and helped himself to some hip, new room decor or something. But no, everything looked mostly the same, albeit clean. "Should I be?"

"No," Dino answered swiftly. "It's just," he hesitated, looking down at the ground. Soonyoung had assumed he was embarrassed, but he seemed to be checking for dust instead, crouching to pick at a tiny white speck. "It's just, in my foster home, sometimes, my foster parents thought I didn't clean well enough." The words were strangely ominous the way Dino stated them and Soonyoung couldn't help but wonder what the consequences of not cleaning well enough were.

Soonyoung nodded. It made sense that Dino was a foster kid. But if he was a foster kid, then: "Did you run away? From your foster home?" Soonyoung was not ready to have the police after him. Sure, he dabbled in a few vaguely illegal activities here and there but serving time for housing a runaway that he'd just met was not particularly appealing.

"I got kicked out," Dino said, voice flat. "On my eighteenth birthday. No more money from the government for keeping me around."

Soonyoung made a small noise of understanding, eyes slowly drifting shut. "What's your real name?" he asked suddenly.

Dino appeared startled by the impromptu inquiry before letting out a soft giggle. Soonyoung found it unjustly adorable. "Was I that obvious?" He giggled again when Soonyoung nodded. "It's Lee Chan," he answered. "I was trying to be sneaky and stuff."

Soonyoung grinned back and held out a hand for Chan to shake. "It's nice to meet you, Chan, I'm Kwon Soonyoung."

Chan shook his hand firmly.

Soonyoung liked Chan. He wanted Chan to stay. "Did you eat?" Soonyoung asked, getting to his feet. The envelope of money he'd stuffed into the waistband of his jeans rustled reminding him he could buy things. People liked him and wanted to stay with him when he bought them things. "I can go buy food."

Chan followed him to the kitchen. "Seokmin-hyung came over last night with food," he explained. "And," he trailed off.

"What's this?" Soonyoung asked, freezing at the small, covered tray.

Chan glanced at it. "Mrs. Boo and her son stopped by this morning. They said it was for you."

"Seungkwan?" Soonyoung asked, trying his best to suppress a groan. He pinched the bridge of his nose, an ominous sense of impending doom overtaking him. His friends were prying in the best and worst ways. Soonyoung was sure it was only a bit of time until someone came over to meet Chan.

"Yeah, I think that was his name," Chan confirmed. He stared at Soonyoung for a moment before his curiosity got the best of him. "Why?"

Soonyoung shot him a pained smile. "Don't worry about it, Channie." He peeled back the aluminum foil covering the tray to reveal bibimbap. "Bless Mrs. Boo," he said softly. She'd made a habit of bringing him trays of food every now and then after Seungkwan had told her of Soonyoung's "depression", in hopes of getting him to eat real food. It was especially touching since the Boo family was always strapped for cash. Soonyoung made sure to give Seungkwan extra cash for his family despite Seungkwan's fervent protests.

Soonyoung pushed the tray closer to Chan. "Take some," he offered. "Mrs. Boo is a great cook," he said when Chan hesitated. Satisfied once Chan was eating, Soonyoung walked the short distance to his room, tucking away his earnings from last night into his cash drawer.

That done, he belly-flopped onto the bed, even though Chan had clearly painstakingly made it. Soonyoung could fix it before he left. Soonyoung pulled out his phone, checking for texts from Wonwoo and ignoring the rest. Soonyoung bitterly tossed his phone to the floor when he found none and buried his face in the pillows, letting out a soft groan. He blindly patted around the bed until he found the star plushie, beat up-and torn, and clutched it tightly to his chest. Soonyoung couldn't help the feeling of déjà vu, stomach tightening painfully at the thought of Wonwoo never speaking to him again. It would certainly make Wonwoo's life easier if he did. Because who in their right mind would want a cheap whore for a friend?

He extracted his face from the pillows at the sound of footsteps approaching his room.

Chan advanced apprehensively, a touch of bibimbap sauce still smeared across the top of his nose. "Are you okay, hyung?" he asked.

Soonyoung rolled over. "'M fine," he said decisively, unsure of who he was trying to convince, himself or Chan. He tried for a smile, managing only what felt like more of a grimace. "Go eat."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading <3\. Feel free to leave kudos or a comment telling me what you think.  
> Expect random updating.
> 
> Also, send SVT and a Lee Chan all of your love.


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